Emotions Matter!
Many children and teens are feeling increasingly anxious and depressed. Young children feeling depressed may tend to report stomachaches, avoid school and other activities, become overly attached to a parent, or express worry that a parent or family member may die. Older children and adolescents tend to sulk, develop behavioral problems at school, become more negative and irritable, and feel misunderstood or unappreciated.
Anxiety is a state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from anticipating a realistic or fantasized threat (Stucky, Kirkwood, & Donders, 2020). Below are a few ways in which anxiety can present itself in children and teens:
Physiological symptoms: elevated heart rate, sweating, gastrointestinal complaints such as nausea and their tummy hurting, diarrhea, not eating or overeating, not sleeping and waking up several times during the night, headaches.
Cognitive symptoms: catastrophic images or ideas/thoughts, feelings of insecurity or inferiority, problems with focus, slow processing speed, feeling overwhelmed with homework, troubles initiating homework.
Behavioral symptoms: avoidance, nervousness, and/or freezing up, not talking, acting out, anger, explosive reactions, not wanting to attend school, withdrawing from playdates.
It is estimated that the prevalence of anxiety disorders is 12.3% in children between 6 and 12 years old and 11% among adolescents (Bunge et al., 2017). Thus, as Kastner (2015) and researchers Gottman, Katz, and Hooven (1996) said it best, “Emotions Matter!” Specifically, they reported that “Children who learn to understand their feelings and master their emotions have higher academic achievement, form stronger and more stable friendships, have fewer conduct problems, self-regulate their negative emotions more effectively, and have better physical health.”
So, let’s start to increase your child’s emotional awareness by:
Identify their feelings: help them label the emotions they are feeling.
Validate their feelings: this is important! Validating does not mean approving. Validating means acknowledging their feelings.
Cope: have them take nice deep belly breathes to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system so that they can calm down physiologically (e.g., reduce their heart rate, relax their muscles through increased oxygen levels, etc.). Have them say a Mantra to promote strength and confidence. Have them stimulate their five senses, for instance, by either smelling something they like, looking at a picture that makes them feel happy, petting their pet or an object they enjoy touching, or even drinking a cold drink.
